barbara walters just said penis...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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