He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize