Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
