so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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