So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
