i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
