North Korea, Best Korea!
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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