I bet he comes in French.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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