yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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