i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
