Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
