Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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