he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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