I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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