I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
