Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
