Im at strip club and am horny
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
