eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
