He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
