I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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