I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
its not stalking. its research.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
