ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
