My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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