I wish I could teleport
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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