my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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