so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
