I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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