That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
