Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize