Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
