I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Even my vagina gasped.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
