Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
