Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
