He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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