you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
