Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
