We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
