well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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