yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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