So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
