Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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