um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
do herpes really smell.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
