My liver just broke up with me...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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