if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
