I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
