he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
