I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize