Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
