I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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