Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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