The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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