i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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