Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
