I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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