Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
