It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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