He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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