He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
