I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
