this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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