S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
