Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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